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The stories at these live lit events--and the beers and cocktails recommended by the hosts—are sure to warm your spirit. I [Bleep] You Not! California Ave. in an audience contest with a truly terrible experience of your own and you could win what the hosts refer to as "fabulous poo-rizes.

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Clark St. Tickets: No cover; ; tuesdayfunk. Shunn contributes a poem to round out the program.

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Shunn recommends: "Dare we suggest this fine local beer as our pairing for the evening's reading: Half Acre's Two Tugs, a nice, thick brown ale with notes of toffee and cherry. Belmont Ave. Tickets: No cover; ; twocookieminimum. The series got its name from its original home at Fritz Pastry, where attendees were encouraged to purchase two cookies rather than ponying up a cover charge.

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It's since moved to the quirky Roscoe Village tavern but Misfit keeps the theme with free cookies for the audience. Misfit recommends: He sought a draft beer to tie in to the female readers but, "the bar said, 'our taps are very male and very angry. Milwaukee Ave. Tickets: No cover; ; cafemustache.

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Vela hosts pieces on pre-ased sins by Curbside Splendor editor Jacob S. I often can't decide whether I feel like getting coffee or alcohol. They are plentiful in the coffee-to-whiskey ration, meaning this drink has a bite in the best way.

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Like the Irish Coffee Mexican coffee, whiskey, raw sugar and creamthe show is a blend of mixed ingredients that come together for greater good--different styles fiction, nonfiction, poetry, mixed media and performers comedians, readers, storytellers. Chicago Ave. Tickets: No cover; ; solointhe2ndcity.

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